TWO BIRTH STORIES IN ONE

Here's a fantastic double-whammy story for you, you'll want to make a cuppa and enjoy this one. Kelly sent us the tale of her two births... amazingly her son & daughter share a birthday, 3 years apart! Kelly said about her stories, "I feel like I've shared them a hundred times, but I've never tried to put them down on paper before. It feels good to finally get that bit of family history completed". 
If you've been thinking of writing a birth story, go ahead! Capture that piece of your own family's history. We'd love to share it here too.
Sarah
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Image by Lusi

I was 24 when I discovered I was pregnant.  My boyfriend Roger and I had been together for almost 5 years, and as scared as I was I instantly wanted this baby fiercely, and with all my heart.  Telling Roger was the scariest thing I'd ever done, I had no idea how he would react.  Neither of us are what you could call 'baby lovers', we'd never ever talked about having kids,  and if we stayed together until our dying days I could never envision the two of us deciding to have kids, it just didn't fit our lifestyle.  But I knew that even if he was unwilling to be a Dad, I was going to be a Mom.  Facing that conversation was heart rending, would he leave me?  Would he insist on an abortion? (I'm pro-choice, but this was already out of the question for me). It took a few days for the news to really sink in, but in the end he felt the same way I did.  Neither of us felt prepared to become parents, I was a full time bar-tender at the time, he was a student and playing in several rock bands, but we both wanted this baby.  Our baby.   

The first trimester was hard.  Bar-tending and morning sickness do not mix well.  I was so exhausted when I was opening the bar that after walking the 2 blocks to work I would lay down for a half hour in one of the booths before I could vacuum and clean up from the night before.  And trying to find excuses for refusing drinks after night shifts was getting tricky.  Prior to the pregnancy I would help lock up the bar and then the staff would put their feet up and have a few rounds before tackling the cash and other duties – I rarely made it home before day break. 

I had been a pack a day smoker prior to getting pregnant, and as soon as I found out I cut back to just 5 cigarettes a day, at 12 weeks I gave them up entirely.  I ate a LOT of licorice and was constantly sipping sweet super cold drinks, anything to avoid a cigarette!   I put on 50 lbs during the pregnancy, and by my third trimester was starting to feel that skinny girls on the street were so thin  just to spite me!  Ha! 

It was hard finding an obstetrician I liked, we live on Prince Edward Island (a small Island off the coast of Canada), and there are no midwives, and only 4 obstetricians.  The first one I saw was not a good match for me, but after getting opinions from as many women as I could I eventually found a doctor I really liked.  He put my due date at March 4, I thought it would be closer to the 8th.  I had a really healthy pregnancy, no issues at all, lots of minor complaints, but nothing serious.  March 4th arrived, and no baby – I wasn't really surprised, my mother had gone an entire 4 weeks over with both me and my sister(the pre-induction days).   The morning of the 5th there was a fresh snow fall so I got out the shovel and cleared the steps and walkway before my Mom and sister arrived to take me to my next appointment.  Poor Roger, the neighbours must have thought he was a horrible man to have his 9 month pregnant girlfriend out shovelling snow!!  I had  my  cervical check  later that morning , and was 3 cm!  , I'd been dilated to 2cms the week before and had my membranes stripped to no avail.   My Doc stripped my membranes again and sent me on my way.

My Mom, sister, and I went for lunch, but I wasn't feeling very hungry.  I had several bathroom trips while we were at the restaurant too.  I didn't think too much of it as the same thing had happened the last time my membranes were stripped.  I went home to lie down for a nap afterwards, and remember how it seemed like my Mom just wouldn't leave.  She was standing in the doorway just staring at me.  She later admitted that she was certain it would be the last time she saw me before I became a mom.  She was right!  When I finally got her out of the house I went upstairs to lie down and nap.   I had bought three books a few weeks earlier and packed one in my hospital bag.  I decided that when I finished the other two it would be baby time!   I had about ¼ of one of the novels left and was estimating 3 days worth of reading.  I lay down with the book read a few pages and lo and behold, the book was finished!  The last 60 pages or so was actually an excerpt from another novel by the same author!  What do I do now I wondered?  The third book is for in the hospital, now I have nothing to read for the next few days.  I decided to try and nap and deal with the reading issue later.  I closed my eyes and almost instantly had a contraction!  Not too strong, but something told me  that it was the real thing.  I stayed in bed assuming I might be able to doze off while waiting for the next one, or at least get some rest.  What seemed like mere moments later I had another one!  Wait a second I thought, I'm supposed to have a 15 minute break here, what's going on, maybe this isn't labour?  I sat up in bed and checked the clock.  Contraction!  Oh no, that was only 7 minutes, the next one came 4 minutes later, then back to 5.  I wasn't sure what to do, nothing I had read had suggested this as a possibility.  I called my doctors office and was told I might as well head over to the Labour and Delivery Unit at the hospital and get checked out – better safe then sorry. 

Now the problem was finding Roger, he was on campus somewhere in the middle of a class!  A 15 drive away, and we had no car!  And  no cell phone!  I called his Mom and she left to go find him.  In the meantime I tried to finish packing my bag.  I say tried because it was taking me a long time to get from place to place, and at one point I dropped something, and knew that there was no way I could pick it up off the floor!  I wasn't even bothering trying to time the contractions, they were all over the map.  Sometimes they would hit one right after the other sometimes I would get a break of 5 or 6 minutes.  It was really hard to adjust and get my head around.  Eventually I heard the front door open.  Roger was home!  I made my way towards the top of the stairs and told him to keep his coat and boots on as I was ready to go.   He was shocked.  He and his Mom had decided to arrange to drop the car off later that afternoon after she had done some grocery shopping, assuming that we would be labouring at the house for several hours before needing to go anywhere!  Boy were they wrong.  We ended up calling a cab.  We lived only a short drive from the hospital, and were soon making our way  to Labour and Delivery.  The contractions had slowed right down in intensity in the cab, and I was able to walk quite comfortably into the assessment room.  I was hooked up to a monitor and had my cervix checked – 4cm – still a long way to go, but they were willing to admit me.  They sent Roger to admitting to deal with the paper work and moved me to a labour room.  On the way across the hall I had a doozey of a contraction that sent me right to my knees.  The nurse had already ducked into one of the rooms and didn't see me, and I had no idea what room she was in.  I got back on my feet and she stuck her head out in the hallway, and we finally got sorted.  Roger came back from admitting and we were left on our own.  All throughout my pregnancy I had wanted to stay home as long as possible, and to stay upright and moving around.  But here I was only and hour and a half in already in the hospital, and there was NO WAY  I was getting out of that bed.  I was curled up in the fetal position with contractions pounding away one on top of another.  Poor Roger didn't know what to do.  I kept sending him out to get a nurse, and the nurses kept reassuring him that everything was fine, and that they would be in to check on me in a few minutes.  They were dealing with a twin C-section delivery at the time, and assumed I was just over-reacting due to being frightened.  After I started groaning and moaning really loudly – I was mooing really – he tried again, and again they told him that they would be in shortly to check on me.  I soon felt the incredible urge to bear down and told him I was pushing – this time one of the nurses listened and came in to have a look. 

When she checked I was 9 cm dilated!  She seemed dumbfounded.  And she kept insisting my water had broken, while I said it had not.  She said she could see the head really clearly and that the amniotic sac wasn't there.  She had me try a little push with my next contraction and bam, my water broke.  It was like projectile amniotic fluid all over her and the wall!  Sorry lady – I tried to tell you!  The baby had descended so far that the amniotic sac was stretched tight over the top of his head, until I pushed that is!  Instantly the pace in the room picked up.  Another nurse was paged and I was wheeled into the delivery room.  The urge to push was overwhelming, it felt so much better to push  then to just let the contractions go.  The two nurses were trying to get me to pant through the contractions waiting for a doctor to arrive. My doctor was still in the O.R. with the twins, and wouldn't be making it to my delivery.  The doctor finally arrived in a very soap opera moment flinging open the doors with his gown untied and he ran right over.  Finally I was allowed to push!  I have no idea how long the pushing stage took, I just remember the doctor yelling at me like I was playing football or something.  All I wanted was quiet and help breathing and he just kept yelling!  But soon my son was born!  What an amazing moment.  I was terrified at how blue he was, but he turned a beautiful pink within moments and the sound of his new little voice!  Indescribable.   And then my doctor arrived.  A few moments too late.  The two doctors were by the door and seemed to be having an argument about something, but I was pretty focused on my beautiful 8lb baby boy!   I was also feeling quite weak, disoriented, and unsure of what to do next. 

I later discovered they were arguing over the episiotomy I had been given.  My Doctor is against them as a rule, and I had been given a large one, and then torn!  I didn't know any of this at the time though.  After the placenta was delivered I started to hemorrhage a  bit.  I had been quite scared off this happening as my Mom had hemorrhaged quite badly after I was born and was unable to have more children as a result.   An IV was inserted in my hand – there hadn't been time before delivery even though it's my doctors preference – and I was soon on the mend. 

Later in recovery Roger and I just sat and giggled and stared at each other.  Were we really parents?  Had all that really happened?  Did we really have a baby?  Less than 5 hours ago I was finishing my book and trying to nap.  Now we were eating sandwiches and calling our families, and we were parents!!   My Mom assumed I was calling to tell her I was in labour, she couldn't believe she was already a grandmother!!  From start to finish was just over 4 hours.  No one believes me when I say I would much rather have another few hours in there, but it's true.  A few days later, after the swelling had subsided,  I discovered my tailbone had been broken as it hadn't had time to shift out of the way.  I was pretty uncomfortable from that for a few weeks, and from the extensive episiotomy.

That evening all the grandparents made their way through a snow storm to come and meet our son.  Rogers parents rushed over so quickly after church services that his dad still had a black cross on his forehead from the Ash Wednesday service, and his Mom backed into another car in the parking lot! 

In all the excitement of the day I had completely forgotten that March 5th is the anniversary of my grandfather's death.  He was a very special person in my life, and it felt so special for my son to have such a close connection to someone I know would have loved him with all his heart.   It took us a few days to name him, but our love for Gabriel was instant. 

Around the time our son Gabe was approaching two my heart started to turn to jelly every time I saw a pregnant woman or a baby.  I NEEDED another baby.  Roger and I agreed that we should stop trying not to have a baby, and just see what happened.  I MAY have been a little more scientific about it.  I MAY have been charting my temperature and calculating exactly when and where we needed to be to get this to happen. 6 long months later I finally had a positive test result!  We were super excited.  As hard as it is we both loved being parents, and adding another baby to our family seemed like more than we could ever dream of. 

I had another healthy pregnancy, more nausea with this one, but overall I felt really good.  My due date was March 17th!  St Patrick's Day, and so close to Gabriel's birth date of March 5th!  He would be receiving a sibling for a 3rd birthday present!  The last few months were hard, I was trying to care for a three year old – who was 95% in the percentile charts – , we had just moved into a new apartment, and Roger had hurt his back quite badly and was unable to work.  Roger was stuck lying on the floor in between physiotherapy appointments, and wasn't allowed to lift anything!  But I was in good spirits.  It was actually nice to have him around the house that last little while, even if he was very limited in what he was allowed to do. 

We planned a small birthday party for Gabe on Sunday the 4th.  His actual birthday was the next day but we thought Sunday would be easier for people to fit into their schedules.  It was a fun day but I was felling pretty tired as we said goodbye to our last guest.  I also felt something else!  Was that my water breaking?  No, maybe I peed a bit?  No, I think that was my water breaking!  It was such a small trickle it was hard to tell, but it didn't seem to stop.

So now what?  I hadn't had any contractions, I'd been having the occasional Braxton Hicks over the past week or so, but nothing of note.  We called my Mom to come and watch Gabe and took off for the hospital.  They hooked me up to the monitor and we were assured that baby was doing fine.  But there was nothing happening contraction wise.  So I was sent home and advised to go for a walk, bounce on my birthing ball, and then get some sleep.  If nothing happened overnight we were to come back in the morning for an induction. 

Looking back I can't believe how calm I felt through that whole evening and night.  We went out for a few walks around the block, but it was a very cold night and not very nice to be out in.  I remember having one contraction, but that was  all.  We eventually made our way to bed, and had a full nights rest..  They wanted us at the hospital by 7 am, but even though my bar-tending days were long behind me by then getting up and out of the house that early was still a stretch for us.  We got up and had breakfast while Gabe and my Mom slept.  I felt so guilty for leaving my 3 year old on his birthday!!  Eventually Roger had to force me to hurry up, and just as we were leaving Gabe finally woke up so I at least got a quick cuddle in with my boy!  I remember watching him wave good-bye from the doorway and not wanting to look away.  He would never be my baby again, the next time I saw him he would be a big brother!  I imagine it was much the same way my mom felt when I was trying to get her out the door before I went into labour the first time.

At the hospital we checked into admitting and made our way down to the delivery suite.  It was a quiet Monday morning and we had a chance to meet all the nurses and the doctor(another delivery without my obstetrician-sigh), and a student doctor who would be attending – his first birth!  Everyone thought it was pretty exciting that this baby was going to born on it's big brothers birthday.  The Doc joked around as they started the Pitocin – I was already a few cm's – he asked me to wait long enough for him to watch the show that he was just starting up in the  doctors lounge.  No problem I thought.  He wandered off to watch TV and the student doc went to grab a coffee and do some studying.

The drip had been started at 9:00 AM, and contractions started shortly afterwards.  I don't really remember much about this labour, I remember how much I hated having the monitor on, it felt like it was boring into my abdomen with every contraction, and I was having trouble with my breathing, but I was also too into my own head space to talk to the people in the room.  I hated that they kept up casual conversation in between my contractions, and were only helping me out when the pain hit.  Roger occasionally whispered something into my ear remembering how much I disliked being yelled at the first time around, and his few words of encouragement helped.   Eventually a nurse reminded me that I needed to ask if I wanted anything for pain medication and I asked instantly!  I had no idea how long I had been having contractions, or how far along I was.  They brought the Doctor down to administer a shot of Demerol.  As he gave me the shot I was told I would get relief in 10 to 15 minutes, but I instantly had to push!    Pushing felt so different this time around.  With my first labour I had instant relief as soon as I started pushing, it felt good to push, with this delivery it hurt more.  It took every reserve of every bit of strength I contained to push through it.  The one great thing though was that I ignored the nurses and pushed when my body told me too – something I hadn't done with number 1 – and even better the nurses figure out really quickly what I was doing and let me take total control. 

Less then 5 minutes later I pushed my baby into the world!  I heard Roger's voice full of amazement and surprise “It's a girl!”    Wow!  A baby girl!   With no episiotomy, and only a very small tear along the old scar, and no hemorrhaging, I was able to hold and nurse her right away.  Our beautiful Scarlet Emilia!  Born on March 5th, her brothers birthday, and  again the anniversary of my grandfather's death. 

So one hour and thirteen minutes after being hooked up to the Pitocin drip Scarlet made her hurried entrance into the world.  The Doctor didn't get to finish his show, and the student - he missed the entire thing!  A nurse had gone to get him when I was getting my Demerol shot, but by the time they  got back I had already delivered!

We were a bit of a novelty in the nursery.  The baby girl in a hurry to be born on her big brother's birthday.   There were, and still are many similarities with these two.  Gabe was exactly 8 lbs, Scarlet an even 7, same birthday, same skin tone, hair and eye colour, and I had the same room at the hospital.  It was like having twins three years apart!

Gabriel has always been a great big brother and really good friend to Scarlet -his birthday present- and I only hope that the special bond they share will allow room for the next addition to our family.  Baby number 3 is on it's way!  I'm 36 weeks in now, and no, this baby will not have the same birthday.   My due date is August 20th.  But I can honestly say I was in a bit of a state all day on March 5th this year!  I mean I've never made it thought that day pregnant without giving birth so far!  I've been having   a great pregnancy, and am very excited to welcome another child to our family. 

Gabriel is 8 now and Scarlet is 5, but not much has changed in the world of birthing here.  Midwives are still not allowed to practice here on the Island leaving me no choice but a hospital birth.  I still have my original obstetrician, and I can only hope that  he finally gets to deliver one of my babies.  My only fear is for the delivery – could it possibly be faster then the last one?  Luckily  our home is only 5 minutes from the hospital, and we finally broke down and bought our own car last year!